Monday 7 July 2014

Oh (my) boy!

Recently, my hub and I gave a stern lecture to Sonshine. Earlier on that day, someone asked him a question. He immediately answered 'I don't know'. We are pretty clear that the answer is his head. It may sound trivial. It would be if it's a one-off cheeky thing. However, he's been consistently like this even at 2 years old. Even his kindergarten and now primary school teachers gave us the same feedback. They know that Sonshine has the answers but he would always show otherwise or refuse to participate in class. 

Sometimes, I let him be. But it can get really frustrating. Whenever someone ask him a question that he knows very well, you will see him crack a smile and declare 'I don't know!'. People who don't know him well will accept his answer as it is. But if they know better & dig further, they would be surprise to know that he has the answers and even more. Even if he says out the answer, he would only reveal a little of what he knows. 

Sometimes I sympathize with him. I find that his mind is not in sync with the rest of his body. Take his speech for instance, he's not very good in expressing himself. The words that come out of his mouth don't accurately describe what's on his mind. Even if he does say it out, the words would only scrape the tip of the iceberg of what he wants to truly say. I suspect that is why he gives up on speaking and telling people the answers. 

This applies with his hands especially when it comes to writing as well. He's got something in his head, but writing takes too long. Even in his imaginative play, it would also be constructing Lego or drawing in a big haste. He does not bother about the aesthetics outcome, all he wants is to recreate the idea out of his head and translate it out in his Lego or drawings. Hence his creation always look like a mess and very hard for others to comprehend. Even in math work, I notice how he can solve problem sums (those that require 3-4 tiers of calculation), he writes down the final (& correct) answer after a quick mental calculation. But he struggles to explain how he gets the answer, duh. 

It's pretty frustrating especially when I know what he wants to say but it gets wrongly translated into words. Every time, I feel a strong urge to intervene and tell whoever there that he actually knows this much. It hurts that people pass him by or opportunies slip by because he hides what he knows. I asked him once why he refuse to tell people the answers and he says 'Because it's a secret'. What? Do you think you're 007 agent, who's storing classified information in your head son? 😐

The thing is, now that he's in school, all the more he's expected to be vocal and shout out his answers confidently. But it seems, he hesistates to reveal the answers whether as an individual or a team mate. 

I hope in time to come my boy will come out his shell. If only he would let others in into his mind so that they come to understand him, appreciate & value his gifts (especially his teachers) instead of brushing him aside and sideline him. Like every parent, I want my child's gifts to be fully capitalized and not be wasted. Still, it's not in my hands but it's in my Lord's hands. As of now, I can only encourage him to speak up and guide him to understand that when he do so, many amazing doors will be open for him. 

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