Sonshine is going to primary school in a few months time. I told myself that the real rat race will inevitably begin (maybe not in lower primary yet) and I need to put thought as to how I am going to manage it. To be honest, I think I already have one foot in the race that is why it is even more important for me to think it through. Here are some of the things I want to remind myself.
1) Education is not a race
Unfortunately, here in Singapore, we see education as a competition. We are way obsess with who knows more than who, who's doing better than who, who has that 1 mark more than who, who is the number one. My own defination of education is simply put- learning. Not learning competitively and not learning to compete. I want to remind myself that Sonshine is there to foremost- gain knowledge, how well he does against his peers is secondary or even unimportant. I shall simply rejoice at the knowledge he gain- PERIOD.
2) Right response
I want to be careful in how i respond when he hands me his results. I don't want him to feel that he needs to earn my affirmation & recognition through good grades. Neither do I want him to think that I would love him lesser if he brings back lousy grades. It has to be well balance and end up with affirming him with my love regardless of how well he do in school.
3) Comparing him with himself
Every child is different, has different talents, different learning pace. It is very unfair and even absurd to compare one child with another. It is like comparing a monkey with an elephant. They each have different strengths and a place in this earth. It is near impossible to pit them against each other. So, I want to remind myself that it is not right to compare him his peers. Instead, I'll compare him with himself and celebrate more of his improvements rather than how 'better' he is against someone else.
I don't know if I will be this steadfast when the time comes. I am easily influenced and affected by my environment and what people say- yes, I am weak that way. But even if we get sucked into the competitive waves, I want to make sure it is healthy and that his self esteem is protected. So hopefully, the day when I feel swayed, I'll check back on this particular post and remind myself again!