Thursday, 29 January 2015

Birds and the bees

So, it has happened. Sonshine asked me how to make babies. He chose the perfect time to drop the bomb on me- while I was driving. 

I thought all I had to do was to make it simple, easy peasy! Here was how our conversation went (heads up! Lots of obscene but accurate words ahead).

Me: Well, every man has this 'thing' called the sperm in them. The man has to transfer the sperm to the woman. The sperm will grow in the woman and viola a baby is born!

Him: OH. How to put the sperm in the woman?

Me: Erm (thinking to myself, since we are on this topic, let's be specific) The man has to put his penis into the woman. 

Him: Oh. How to put the penis in the woman? 

Me: (what have I got myself into) There's a 'hole' in the woman's vagina and the man has to put his penis in the hole.

Him: oh. (In deep thoughts) Then can men put their penis in other men's hole (he was referring to the rear hole, ahem).

Me: WHAT! WHAT?!? Where did you get the idea from??!! 

Him: (calmly) You. 

Me: me? 

Him: you said the man can put in a woman's HOLE. 

Me: erm well, er... (Should I brush this off... Should I be honest)

Me: Yeeeeeees, some men do that. BUT! God doesn't approve of that and it's not normal. And don't you go round putting your penis in ANY woman. Only the woman you marry. OKAY??!

Him: okay

Him: How does the sperm come out? Can we see it?

Me: (without thinking) it's like when you pass urine. You can't see it. 

Him: oh okay. 


On another day, I wanted to know how much he understood me. So I asked

Me: So, how do you make babies? 

(I was expecting him to first say a man has to put penis in the woman)

Him: FIRST, I must get married!

Me: (Wow he GOT THAT right!)

Him: Then put the penis into her and pass urine. 


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